GOODBYE LONDON AND FEELING OF DEEP SAUDADE!

“saudade!”- A deep nostalgic feeling London feels like home. I got comfortable with my routines and the way in which this city functions. I can’t imagine not taking the tube or not debating on whether to get off at Paddington or Lancaster Gate. It feels surreal that I won’t get off at Holborn or Old Street station anymore. Most all, I will miss plotting to take over the world whilst I sit upstairs/front row of a double decker bus. London is indeed the city in which I resolved my thoughts and ideas about what it is to truly be an adult. While I didn’t magically fall in love with a handsome/smart British guy, I did fall in love with the person I was becoming. I became more confident in myself and my worth. For the first time, I also felt liberated to go to a pub for a band or whoever all by myself. Looking back I was able to see Waxahatchee, Natalie Prass, Lydia Ainsworth, FKA Twigs, and The War on drugs. Not surprisingly, I’m seeing Tobias Jesso Jr here alone on my final night. It was only through venturing to different shows early on in the semester that I ok with going out alone and meeting new people. It turns out while British people are pretty much revered at concerts they do get chatty. My two favorite encounters include a loud stoner guy at the FKA Twigs show and this awesome lady I met before the Natalie Prass show. It was only when I was alone that I truly found myself. London will always bee home because it is the place where I became 21 and a true adult. I still remember having my first legal (by USA standards) shot while The War on Drugs played “Red Eyes”. For two straight hours I sat on that balcony in bliss. I was really happy. Thats the thing about London, I was always happy here. The one time I was having a bad day was quickly solved with a tube ride and gelato. I always said that I feel like I can do anything in NYC but I now feel like I can always feel a sense of happiness and confidence in London. My move to London was also the first time that I got to travel to other countries alone. 2/6 of my trips where by myself. I remember feeling weird that I was traveling alone while most people where going in large or small groups over spring break. By the end of that week, I regretted nothing. I navigated new cities by myself and met some cool people along the way. For example, I met this cool dude from Mexico at my hostel in Prague. We talked about life, Europe, America and traveling all over dinner. In some way that guy became my inspiration because he was so far from home but so confident and ready to learn about new cultures. I also went to the Croatia. It was also in Croatia that I discovered the true beauty of nature. It was around 5 pm that my taxi dropped me off in Dubrovnik. The sun had set and I had checked into the hostel. I walked down many steps and into Old Town and made my way around the harbor. The dark sky, the blue water and the city walls was a scene straight out of Game of Thrones (this is me bragging about going to a GOT filming location. sorry) For those four days I was in definite paradise. I spent hours on the beach just staring, walking the city walls and admiring the old city. I also met some cool people like the two sisters from California and the awesome American students I met after hiking down a mountain. Those awesome American students invited me to their villa ( was right next to my hostel) for dinner. We went to a bar where we met this fun British/Canadian London couple who made me laugh the entire night (always hoped to run into them on the central line during rush hour). Afterwards, we went to a club in an old roman fort that was practically empty due to it not being a strong seasonal travel time. That night I laughed, made friends with people who I will never see again and found myself enjoying the serendipitous moments. One of my first blog posts was about list. I love them. I was able to complete some of the items on my bucket list but not all. Over the last few weeks, I’ve come to realize that it is impossible to do it all while going to school and attending my internship. This will not be the last time that I will come/live in London and therefore, I feel good about leaving some stuff for the future. The same goes for the countries I visited. I happy that I went to Paris, Prague, Vienna, Dubrovnik, Berlin and Istanbul. I now look forward to visiting Ireland, Scotland, Italy, Greece, Spain in due time. This semester I also got to intern at a great music management firm called Solar Management. I am eternally grateful for the chance to work alongside kickass people who are at the top of their game. I learned so much about how to music industry works here in London. In the end, the employees definitely became my friends. I liked music management so much that I applied for a music management intern position for the summer. I have an interview on the 15th in NYC and I could not be more excited. So I will leave London with great memories and new friendships. I was able to live in a killer flat with 5 awesome girls. They made me laugh constantly. I was also able to meet cool new people in my classes and on school trips. I met so many new friends who I vaguely knew or had never seen a day in my life. Had so many good conversations and experiences with them during the Paris, Berlin and Istanbul trips. I also became friends with a few people who attend other schools around the country. I even made plans with a few people to meet up over the summer. In the end, I am definitely glad that I decided to come to London this semester. As I am writing this, I am almost done with packed and ready to see my family. I am thankful to my parents for paying for the trip. I missed them loads. It will definitely be strange to wake on Saturday morning and not be in London. But that is ok because this was a great experience. Half of me is sad and the other half is excited at the prospect of coming back here after I graduate. There is still so much I didn’t see! So I leave London with a feeling of saudade! because I know in my heart that I shall return soon!