I only have two months left. Two months before I’m pushed into the real world. This semester, I’ve watched every movie/tv show about college just to see how fictional characters deal with this feeling. While writing this in google docs, I am simultaneously watching the early 2000s classic Felicity in the other tab. Needless to say, (pardon the idiom) I am scared. I am anxiously skipping episodes even seasons just to see how Felicity deals with graduating college. So while I can’t skip ahead into my future, I can skip ahead to hers.
Ok, I’m starting to realize that Felicity might have been a bad example for my senior year midlife crisis. Fast forward to the final season and her best friend died and suddenly her life/everything is put into a whole new perspective. I was vicariously living through this character for the last three hours. When Felicity lost her friend, I felt like I also lost someone too. But I guess that’s the thing with fiction. It’s not real.
In the end, I have to create my own reality. Even if my reality is that I graduate in two months and I don’t even have a job/internship lined up yet. What I really learned from watching this series is that I should cherish those around me and live in the moment.
If you’re wondering I’m team Noel!
UPDATE: I wrote this blog post two weeks ago and since then I’ve had a few interviews/job responses. The strange/ wonderful thing about life is that it always seems to workout somehow.
“Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” by Judy Blume is one of my favorite childhood books. When I was 10 years old, I strongly identified with Margaret’s issues and problems. Today, I find myself in a similar situation where I’m seeking a sense of direction. So, “Are you there God? It’s me, Sam and I’m looking for a job.”
It’s 7:42 p.m. and I’m sitting alone at a cubicle procrastinating and wondering about the next few months. Perhaps, I’m really scared about where I will be after graduation. I had originally planned to spend my last semester in New York City, However due to other circumstances I could not finish my minor in time. As a result, I’ve had to slowly let that dream go. It sucks but I guess the universe or God has some other plan for me. I’m slowly coming to terms with the idea of still being in Syracuse next semester. I’m happy I have friends here who will make it all okay. After all, we only get one shot at this whole college thing.
(takes deep breath)
So what do I do now? It’s October and that means that I have got to get my life together. This means that I must reorganize my life by setting a whole new plan into action. Starting now with this blog post. First, I pledge to blog twice a month. Second, I plan to get my resume and business cards ready for job hunting before I go home for Thanksgiving break. Third, I am looking into conducting informational interviews during Thanksgiving break. Forth, I am going to actively search for a local spring internship.
This Friday I am planning on handing in my resume to Newhouse’s CDC for a review and I’m also planning on figuring on what writing samples to use for my job and internship search. I am also going to attempt to figure out a timeline for applying to spring internships and postgraduate programs at companies such as Burson Marsteller and Viacom.
(Heading back to my essay and presentation that I have due tomorrow)
This week marked the 2nd to last week in the month of July. As the end of summer inches closer and closer, I’ve started to really thing about the next stage of my life.
Senior year of college.
A friend once asked me about my goals for senior year and I really didn’t know what to say. Of course, I want to have maximum amount of fun, get good grades, hang out with friends and finally secure a job. But, it turns out that wasn’t really what she was asking. Those are all given goals that are practically inevitable. I started to thing back to freshman year and all the things I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to learn to love my major, meet new friends, study abroad, visit London, visit Chicago and even Austin. So far, I did majority of those things. However, I still realize that I do live in the boundaries of safe and comfort. Perhaps one of my goal for senior year is to partake in activities that are more adventurous and completely new.
Luckily, I still have one month and one week to figure out some other concrete goals.
Because of my internship at a music management firm I got to go to the filming of a new music series by Spin Magazine. It was cool to see the behind the scenes madness. Plus they had free pizza and beer. This week, I also went to Terminal 5 to see Torres and Speedy Ortiz Courtney Barnett. After chilling at the office with my boss and the lead singer of The So So Glos, I made my way to the venue. After a brief freak out (my Ticketmaster app would not open) I met up with my friends. It was nice to see them and once Torres came on stage I was so damn happy. Even though, I had to leave around five songs into the Courtney’s set, it was a great night.
Yesterday , I also went to Coney Island for the first time.
A year ago, Lana dropped her last project Ultraviolence to polarizing reception. Her new track honeymoon dives much lower as Lana is crooning about Mr. Born to lose. This track plays like a dramatized black and white flick staring Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. There’s a toxic relationship, beautiful backing music and honest lines. It’s silky and sulky in the same. Lana’s delivery throughout the song is really the selling point, “There are guns that blaze around you. There are roses in between my thighs and fire that surrounds you. It’s no wonder every man in town had neither fought nor found you.” It’s all about someone wanting to be wanted. Its such a simple human emotion that eventually clicks with a few more spins. Her next album Honeymoon is rumored to be out this September.
2.) AFTERNOON DAZE JAM
Gemma – As Ever
Some songs capture the ambiance of the perfect backyard party. “As ever”, comes from the side project of Ava Luna vocalist, Felicia Douglass and Erik Gundel. This song is a slinky R&B treat wrapped around its catchy beats. Douglass’s easy going voice under this kind of production is a good first look that lingers well after the song is done. Their debut EP is out this fall.
3.) BEST COMEBACK
CHVRCHES – Leave a trace
There’s a sweet liberation that comes with admitting your wrongs. There’s also a sweet liberation in letting your enemies who that they can’t hurt you. “Leave a trace” has Lauren Mayberry singing on top of a colorful wave of synths and she lets it all out, “You think I’ll apologize/for things i left behind/but you got it wrong/ And I’m sane as I ever was.” CHVRCHES’ next album is titled Every Open Eye and its due out this September. “Leave a trace” feels like a personal step in the right direction.
It’s been around two months since London and a lot has happened. I now have two internships and no part-time job. Not having the latter have been hard but I’m making it work. The thing about being in London was that I had this long list of things to do that always ignited a productive drive within me. Now, I’ve lost that. That’s where this blog comes in. I’ve made a new pact with myself to update my blog once a week. Hopefully, it will give me a new drive to start writing more about my experiences. I’ll probably start writing more about life, college stuff, post grad thoughts, music and internship stuff.
One cool thing that did happened this week was that I got to work the door at a cool and hip art showcase in NYC. I totally felt like Lauren Conrad circa The Hills season 1 when I was checking in media and having drinks with my co-workers. Adrian Grenier even stopped by the party with an entourage. (sue me lol) Also I chilled with Liu and Shaheem thursday after work. It was really nice. We spend around four hours drinking at a bar and talking about our learned experiences abroad.
Summer is half way over and I’m neither happy or sad about it.
“saudade!”- A deep nostalgic feeling London feels like home. I got comfortable with my routines and the way in which this city functions. I can’t imagine not taking the tube or not debating on whether to get off at Paddington or Lancaster Gate. It feels surreal that I won’t get off at Holborn or Old Street station anymore. Most all, I will miss plotting to take over the world whilst I sit upstairs/front row of a double decker bus. London is indeed the city in which I resolved my thoughts and ideas about what it is to truly be an adult. While I didn’t magically fall in love with a handsome/smart British guy, I did fall in love with the person I was becoming. I became more confident in myself and my worth. For the first time, I also felt liberated to go to a pub for a band or whoever all by myself. Looking back I was able to see Waxahatchee, Natalie Prass, Lydia Ainsworth, FKA Twigs, and The War on drugs. Not surprisingly, I’m seeing Tobias Jesso Jr here alone on my final night. It was only through venturing to different shows early on in the semester that I ok with going out alone and meeting new people. It turns out while British people are pretty much revered at concerts they do get chatty. My two favorite encounters include a loud stoner guy at the FKA Twigs show and this awesome lady I met before the Natalie Prass show. It was only when I was alone that I truly found myself. London will always bee home because it is the place where I became 21 and a true adult. I still remember having my first legal (by USA standards) shot while The War on Drugs played “Red Eyes”. For two straight hours I sat on that balcony in bliss. I was really happy. Thats the thing about London, I was always happy here. The one time I was having a bad day was quickly solved with a tube ride and gelato. I always said that I feel like I can do anything in NYC but I now feel like I can always feel a sense of happiness and confidence in London. My move to London was also the first time that I got to travel to other countries alone. 2/6 of my trips where by myself. I remember feeling weird that I was traveling alone while most people where going in large or small groups over spring break. By the end of that week, I regretted nothing. I navigated new cities by myself and met some cool people along the way. For example, I met this cool dude from Mexico at my hostel in Prague. We talked about life, Europe, America and traveling all over dinner. In some way that guy became my inspiration because he was so far from home but so confident and ready to learn about new cultures. I also went to the Croatia. It was also in Croatia that I discovered the true beauty of nature. It was around 5 pm that my taxi dropped me off in Dubrovnik. The sun had set and I had checked into the hostel. I walked down many steps and into Old Town and made my way around the harbor. The dark sky, the blue water and the city walls was a scene straight out of Game of Thrones (this is me bragging about going to a GOT filming location. sorry) For those four days I was in definite paradise. I spent hours on the beach just staring, walking the city walls and admiring the old city. I also met some cool people like the two sisters from California and the awesome American students I met after hiking down a mountain. Those awesome American students invited me to their villa ( was right next to my hostel) for dinner. We went to a bar where we met this fun British/Canadian London couple who made me laugh the entire night (always hoped to run into them on the central line during rush hour). Afterwards, we went to a club in an old roman fort that was practically empty due to it not being a strong seasonal travel time. That night I laughed, made friends with people who I will never see again and found myself enjoying the serendipitous moments. One of my first blog posts was about list. I love them. I was able to complete some of the items on my bucket list but not all. Over the last few weeks, I’ve come to realize that it is impossible to do it all while going to school and attending my internship. This will not be the last time that I will come/live in London and therefore, I feel good about leaving some stuff for the future. The same goes for the countries I visited. I happy that I went to Paris, Prague, Vienna, Dubrovnik, Berlin and Istanbul. I now look forward to visiting Ireland, Scotland, Italy, Greece, Spain in due time. This semester I also got to intern at a great music management firm called Solar Management. I am eternally grateful for the chance to work alongside kickass people who are at the top of their game. I learned so much about how to music industry works here in London. In the end, the employees definitely became my friends. I liked music management so much that I applied for a music management intern position for the summer. I have an interview on the 15th in NYC and I could not be more excited. So I will leave London with great memories and new friendships. I was able to live in a killer flat with 5 awesome girls. They made me laugh constantly. I was also able to meet cool new people in my classes and on school trips. I met so many new friends who I vaguely knew or had never seen a day in my life. Had so many good conversations and experiences with them during the Paris, Berlin and Istanbul trips. I also became friends with a few people who attend other schools around the country. I even made plans with a few people to meet up over the summer. In the end, I am definitely glad that I decided to come to London this semester. As I am writing this, I am almost done with packed and ready to see my family. I am thankful to my parents for paying for the trip. I missed them loads. It will definitely be strange to wake on Saturday morning and not be in London. But that is ok because this was a great experience. Half of me is sad and the other half is excited at the prospect of coming back here after I graduate. There is still so much I didn’t see! So I leave London with a feeling of saudade! because I know in my heart that I shall return soon!
WARNING THIS POST CONTAINS VARIOUS TYPOS BECAUSE 1.) I HAD VERY LITTLE SLEEP 2.) WROTE THIS AS SOON AS I GOT HOME.
I went 24 hours without sleeping.
I arrived in Istanbul around 4:30 a.m which also meant that it was 2:30 a.m in London. However, the thrill of being in a new city left me in a state of pure adrenaline. My hotel unfortunately forgot to pick me up from the airport so I was left to wonder around for an hour. Thankfully, my first interaction with Turkish people including a sweet and kind guy named Assan who was waiting to pick someone up. Since his english was rather good he helped me to call the hotel and eventually my driver came. On the way to the hotel I was able to see and to view the water and all the cool boats. Once I got to my hotel I was able to check in and settle into my room. I decided that the best course of action was to take a shower and to then to just sit and relax until 8 a.m. I found my way towards the lobby with the little energy I had left and quickly saw Johnny emerging from the elevator. He showed me where the breakfast area was and I immediately found my way towards the food.
After grabbing coffee with bread and cheese I made my way towards sitting with Katie and someone else. Soon Charine and everyone else would come up to me with sheer amazement that I hadn’t slept and that I did indeed make it there. After breakfast we got ready for a walking tour of palaces and old mosques.
We visited the impressive Topkapi Palace, Hagia Sophia and Basilica Cistern.
After an optional walk to the young and hip section of Istanbul, everyone separated into groups and ventured into the city. Katie, John and I walked all the way downhill which surprisingly took us through some dark and curious parts of the city. We walked for about 2 hours and walked back towards the hotel. On our way there we stopped on a bridge which provided us with with an incredible view of the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia. We grabbed some take away (doner kebab) and made our way towards the roof where we talked and listened to music. It was great. While we were on the roof I was actually amazed that we had walked all the way back. I suddenly thought back to Berlin where our tour guide Gabriel made some really great points. He said that he tend to be drawn to people who possess certain qualities that we admire. I do believe in that. I think that’s why I was so easily persuaded by Johnny to walk that far. That kid loves adventure and exploration. Ultimately I wanted my study abroad experience to be about adventure and exploration. I’m happy that I was able to meet people like John who crave the unknown and have a natural born tendency to explore.
I finally had sleep! Around 7 hours to be exact.
I woke up energized and ready to go.
We were off towards the Grand Bazaar, Suleymaniye Mosque, Spice Bazaar, lunch and then we finally got some free time. John, Katie accidentally found a tulip festival. We then got some Ottoman ice crew and sat on a bench and suddenly we go everyone coming up to us. There was a guy who called himself James Bond and two groups of students who needed our help to do their school projects. We even wondered onto a traditional dance concert. We retired to our rooms for an hour break before we visited the Asian side of Istanbul.
I went to Asia!
Yes, the ferry only lasted for 20 minutes and was very crowded however, it was a very relaxing trip. Afterwards we soon found ourselves all roaming the streets in ASIA!. We once again grabbed takeaway kabab.
That night a few of us went to a hookah bar and had a couple beers. It was nice to hang with people i had never spoken to before. We all laughed and exchanged stories. We got silly and deep. It was the perfect end to my 3 trip to Istanbul. I can’t wait to go back.